Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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