Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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