Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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