Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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