i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
