Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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