direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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