While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
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Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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