He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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