come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
