I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I want a musical about memes.
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