living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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