How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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