three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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