do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
