Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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