I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
