Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
