it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
