He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
