Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
