i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
