And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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