it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
