Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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