Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
