Pants 0. Shit 1.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize