What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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