How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
