you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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