exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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