I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
