Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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