i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
