if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
