Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
