mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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