I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
