She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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