dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
