Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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