toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
