Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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