If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
