Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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