Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
