Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
