The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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