Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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