We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
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