forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
