Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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