i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
