Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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