She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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