Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
