There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
