dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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