you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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