Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
