I am puke
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
