remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
