Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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