After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
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I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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