Screwed.edu
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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