Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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